The Amazing “Dad Life” of Simon Hooper

By
Pie
-

Simon Hooper, aka Father of Daughters, became an Instagram star by showing the reality of parenthood. He chronicles his daily life and challenges of being a father to four young girls.

With almost a million followers on Instagram, Hooper shares his daily stories with his girls with a big scoop of humor and without the usual sugarcoating of “perfect parenthood.” As Hooper describes it, he is forever outnumbered by the women in his life, being the only male in the family. But he wouldn’t change a thing in his life because they are his life.

His book, Dad Life, is about his journey into parenthood, from being “a 24 year old man-child with no idea of what being a dad involved, to where I find myself today.”

“From uninitiated parents-to-be to those who know the ropes in families large or small, everyone will find something to relate to in Simon’s hilarious and chaotic tales of his own home life. His observations of being a father have delighted his hundreds of thousands of followers on Instagram.”

Check his patenting adventures below!

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Were almost 2 months into life with Pablo, so here's a synopsis. Benefits of dog ownership: we leave the house more frequently without arguments the size of which could start civil wars, the kids are taking more responsibility (although the rota seems to have gone missing and I'm still the one on poo duty) & I have a furry colleague while I work from home (I could do without the daily live 'soft toy' sex show while on work calls). Downsides: playing 'ou est le shit' – a game that involves following your nose to locate a turd hidden in the house, clemmie's down to her last 23 pairs of huge black pants as Pablo has chewed up half of them & no one listens to me anymore – the dog has stolen any authority I once had. Oh who am I kidding – The only way I could have less power in this house is if the national grid went down. And FYI you guessed it, I had nothing to do with dressing the girls. #doglife #pablovalentine #twins #fatherofdaughters #walkies #dadlife #instadad #fod

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One moment I'm method acting the crap out of my role as a granny named Lucy at an exclusive tea party hosted by the twins, the next they've abandoned me quicker than the entourage of a celebrity embroiled in a sex scandal to act out scenes from a budget version of king Kong. In that moment, I transformed from being an engaged parent to a 36 year old man in tent who's been left ponder his life choices whilst talking to himself in strange accents & drinking air from a wooden cup. Isn't parenting wonderful. There's a long list of things I've continued to do when the those with the attention span of an senile goldfish decide to sod off that includes colouring, Lego, playing with dolls & simple puzzles that I time myself to complete because, well, why not! Who else has been dumped mid play & continued on your own? #abandoned #budgetkingkong #thisairislovely #maninatent #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad #fod

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Did anyone else spend their mornings as a kid completely unsupervised, glued to the slow flicking pages of ceefax / Teletext before actual programmes like dappledown farm, Jason & the wheeled warriors & the racoons came on? If you did, then that meant you were up before 5.30am, usually the only one moving in a house of slumbering people & free from parental control, which felt liberating! Well it seems that Ottie & Delilah have my genes as, while I did my rather convincing impression of a morgue resident, they've took the opportunity engage silent mode (a mode I didn't know they had) & descended into the darkness of downstairs to start the day on their own. I don't know what they did this morning, but I ran down in cold sweat to lots of open drawers, a nappy on the stairs, a dog wee on the floor that resembled lake superior from space & 2 children under a sofa laughing hysterically while eating dry cheerios. I guess they enjoyed their independence but now I'm terrified for tomorrow morning. Fyi if you don't know what ceefax is, then we can no longer be friends as you're too young. #independentgirls #unsupervised #badparenting #twins #fod #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad

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Wanted: a scientist who has secretly perfected human cloning and is willing to breach all codes of ethics to make a copy of me (or failing that i'll take someone who looks vaguely like me).why you may be asking? The answer – So my doppelganger can take on the morning routine while I sleep the sleep of the dead as it's starting to feel like I've done a full days work in the hours between 6.30am and 9.00am before I've even started my job I'm actually paid to do! During the Easter holidays, we craved the routine of term time, it's just a shame that now it's back, our 'routine' consists of the same argues everyday, the same lost shoes, the same people last out the door, the last cold tea, & the same bomb site left in the kitchen as the demolition squad vacate the premises. It's chaos of the organised – does this look familiar to anyone? #shitshowroutine #morning #notteamwork #mygirls #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad #fod

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If you go down to the woods today, you're sure of a big surprise – the surprise being unsupervised dads encouraging their kids to do things that basically void all insurance policies & would leave their partners in mild cardiac arrest whilst drowning in their own cold sweat had they'd been around to witness it. So as delilah was dangling 15ft in the air on a single thickness rope swing, I found myself asking – why is it that dads are more likely to encourage risk taking behaviour? I'm guessing its because as a kid I ate bowls of risk for breakfast and ended up in A&E so many times that I qualified for a loyalty card, but with each scar I had a story to tell and I wore them with pride. To my mind, It's all part of growing up and making memories but know that my wife might not agree and would have them permanently wrapped in bubble wrap if she could. Perhaps I'm wrong and mums do this too – I'm interested to know your experiences! #daredevils #ieatriskforbreakfaat #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad #fod

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Back in the days when we lived in caves, rode dinosaurs around & made a lot of "ugg" noises, our ancestors spend 90% of their time risking life & limb to gather food to provide for your families. Fast forward a few millennia & we're basically doing the same thing – our children still wait open-mouthed and it's still our job to fill them, however, our lives are now busier than ever before which means making time to keep feeding time interesting can be more challenging than a game of blindfolded darts. That's why for the next year, I'm partnering with @goustocooking, to see if they can help expand my girls tastes beyond the colour Yellow & make meal time just that little bit easier to manage (while making me look like a culinary genius in the process – bonus!). I'm starting with their 'Everyday Favourites' recipes that have been created for healthy family mealtimes. All with 2/5 a day & prepped in under 30 minutes. Tempted to experiment with me? why not join me for the ride & try it for yourself. Click on the link in my bio & use discount code 'FOD30' to get 30% off your first month's order. #ad #everydayfavourites #gousto #fatherofdaughters

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No one chooses to have siblings. It's a decision that's thrust upon them & they have to just deal with it. That's why I Sometimes worry if my girls will be friends when they're older, as the sibling relationship is a complex one – one moment they're playing nicely together, the next theyre planning sororicide, but until we all live in a blade runneresque dystopia & genetic code is traded openly on the black market, no one gets to pick who they have a brother or sister – it's a lucky dip ladle from the soup of our parents bodily fluids (gross). But then I look at my own brother & sister – Yes we fought & yes we drove eachother nuts, but then you blink, become an adult & realise that these people that you shared your childhood with make up a significant part of your memories & who you are today. They are my friends and without them I simply wouldn't be me. I hope my girls feel the same way when they're older as I'm glad my parents decided to have sex those 3 times (& only those 3 times as we all know that our parents only ever had sex to procreate and for no other reason, right?!). #siblings #family #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad #fod

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With Clemmie away tonight, I succumbed to temptation. I thought I'd get away with it. I thought it was safe. I thought no one would know. but I was wrong and now I'm full of regret. I gave in to that most sordid of parenting sins – the danger nap. It's that shiny irresistible treasure at the centre of the parenting Temple of Doom that calls to us like siren, with a promise of silence so we can actually get on top of things and be a normal functioning human being for 45 minutes, but as soon as you embrace it, the whole world comes tumbling down around you in a wall of screams that can shatter glass from several miles away & leaves the old faithful routine behind to die. Never mess with danger naps. Just say no, however strong the urge might be to give into it's promises peace – It's just not worth it! (fyi they're asleep now, but for how long?) #dangernap #parentingsins #twins #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #fod #instadad #whenmywifesaway

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I'm strongly considering catching the Easter bunny & making it into a strew as it's made life after Easter somewhat difficult. As you can tell from Ottilie's reaction, after 2 days of mainlining pure sugar in chocolate egg form, binging on poorly guarded snacks & generally being spoilt rotten, the idea of eating anything that isn't melty & brown is beneath her. Even hot buttered toast, which it's clearly from her other key food group of 'the colour biege' & is usually inhaled, was met with disdain. And so begins the daily battle of patience and perseverance. These 5 minute nutritional negotiations add up as, after some back of a napkins calculations, I believe I've spent a combined total over 600 hours of my parenting life locked in a war of words with someone a fraction of my size over things they refuse to digest. That's 25 days convincing people to eat! I don't know how yet, but I'm getting that time back at some point in the future! #justeatit #skintheeasterbunny #youlleatitandyoullenjoyit #ifitsnotchocolate #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #fod #instadad

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No, don't worry, Delilah hasn't sliced off the end of fingers and bled rainbow unicorn blood – this was a result of our trip to the imaginary nail salon and unsupervised access to felt tips. she made a right hash of it and my attempts were far superior (swipe right, finally putting that A level art to good use), but it led me to think – Why are girls so into cosmetics, especially at young ages? Is it because they see mummy putting on the war paint? Is it advertising? And why women feel they need to wear makeup? Are they doing for themselves or for others? I get it can give you confidence by accentuating features but there is a line between looking naturally beautiful and something that is all together unnatural. I've never understood the concept of it in all honesty but I'm already finding that my girls older girls are stock piling OPI & discarded makeup from clemmie's dressing table bin & frankly I'm a bit concerned! God, I sound like such a dad…… #makeupworries #growinguptooquick #dontuseatrowel #natural #fatherofdaughters #dadlife #instadad #fod #nails

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